I realize it has been many weeks since my last post. Sometimes it seems as if life can sweep you up and set you back down a few weeks later.
Today’s post could be about Rhode Island, Minnesota, France, and New Zealand now having marriage equality, but it’s not. However, in order to even get anywhere near the altar, we must first handle the idea of dating. Relationships take a lot of work. I mean a lot. It is a mutual exchange of two people sacrificing certain things to gain other things. For instance, you might give up a pick-up game of basketball to go on a date with your boyfriend. However, he in return will give you a massage while you watch your favorite TV show even though he doesn’t like it.
No one gets it right even 75% of the time let alone every day you are together. However, there is a commitment. A silent rule that claims profoundly that the higher the value you have for someone the more willing you are to make it work.
Gay men are stereo-typed by being over sexed and incapable of a lasting relationship. Why is that? Well, there are many influences that go into what is now seemingly a subset of the culture as a whole, but bluntly speaking, I think it’s fear. I think it is easier for gay men to live in that stereo-type, to be what society sees them as, because society no longer challenges the notion of being gay. They challenge the belief that gay is as normal as straight which includes lasting, sometime challenging, and most importantly loving relationships.
Obviously, not every relationship that you enter is going to last. However, as cliché as it might be, it is important to listen to your heart over your head. This requires you to participate in an inner dual. Please, do not run away from uncertainty. For, it may be the only thing that is certain in your life. You must challenge why you think the way you think, how you can see a situation in a different light, and how you can sustain the most happiness. I’ve always hated the claim, that many make in a relationship, about having the other person “complete” them. That to me seems crazy that you are not complete in and of yourself, but I do recognize having another person make you a better you. One that is complete in his own essence with an additional strength, a fortification, of one’s nature.
On your romantic journey, be searching not for someone who is exactly what you want, but who is exactly what you need. Yes, this is a vague claim that lacks the bullet points necessary for a direct change. However, if you think on what that means, on why you want what you want, you realize your wants are just over-compensations. Your needs being fulfilled will give you a lasting butterfly-in-the-stomach feeling, a feeling that is unexplainable, and yet, so familiar. You must decide if that feeling is present in the relationship or not. I wish you the best of luck.
Love gay life even when it’s messy because it means you’re starting to figure it out.
Share this post, talk to me on twitter, leave a comment, or like the post. I appreciate you following!